We live in a superficial world. Chitzoniyus, shallow and artificial things, are much easier to come by than penimiyus. It seems that those who blow their horns loudest are the ones who get noticed. Everything – or at least a lot of things – today is about marketing.
I recently picked up an old edition of the Yated from about twenty years ago that had been buried in my basement. As I went through the paper, something struck me. The ads were so “primitive.” In today’s world of hyper-marketing, the ads from twenty years ago just looked so drab. Who would buy a product based on such a nebby ad?
Today, to get noticed, everything must be done with a splash.
The “Out of the Box” Attraction
Yes, sometimes we can get a bit down when we see that real values—values that venerate discretion, restraint, and aidelkeit—don’t seem to have much currency in today’s era, when all the rage is about getting your name out there. If you want to be noticed, you have to do something that has some degree of shock value.
This is manifest even in things that are hallowed in our world. Somehow, the rabbonim, admorim or babas who do things that are “out of the box” are the ones who garner people’s focus. For some reason, the tzaddik who jumps up and down during davening or lies on the floor screaming, “Heilige Borei Olam,” attracts more attention and followers than the tzaddik who sits and learns, davens, and serves Hashem quietly and discreetly every moment of the day.
We seem more attracted to a tzaddik who wears three pairs of tefillin at the same time or who pours a gallon of salt on his food before eating.
These words should not chas veshalom be taken as disparaging any tzaddik. Rather, it is a reflection of the superficiality of the tzibbur and the media, who somehow don’t find the quiet and discreet gaon and tzaddik “marketable.”
Several years ago, I remember speaking with the esteemed editor of this paper, Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz, who remarked wryly, “No one ever sends pictures to the Yated of Rav Simcha Schustal and Rav Meir Hershkowitz,” two illustrious roshei yeshiva and tzaddikim who sat quietly in their little corners, learned, and taught Torah to talmidim at the highest levels.
What is the Wrapping?
Indeed, we all know, or should know, that superficiality is not meaningful. One should never judge another person based on outer appearances. Yet, our world places a tremendous amount of emphasis on superficiality. It is not at all uncommon for people to put on an outer shell that might hide a rotten penimiyus.
It is that outer shell that should give us pause and make us cautious. We should always strive to have an outer appearance that displays who we are and where we belong, while simultaneously making sure that our inner self matches it as well.
At the same time, it is also important to note that chitzoniyus does play a role – an important role. We know that “Chitzoniyus me’oreres es hapenimiyus—Our outer actions have an impact on the inside” (Sefer Hachinuch, Mitzvah 16).
Is it Possible that a Grandfather Doesn’t Recognize His Grandchildren?
In this week’s parsha, we find an interesting conversation between Yaakov Avinu and Yosef Hatzaddik. After Yosef is informed that Yaakov is weakening and sick, he quickly brings his children, Menashe and Efraim so that Yaakov can bentch them before he passes away.
The posuk says, “Yisroel saw the children of Yosef and asked, ‘Who are these?’” (Bereishis 48:8). Rav Yitzchok of Vorka asked: Why didn’t Yaakov recognize them? According to Rashi, Efraim regularly learned with Yaakov. How, then, could he not recognize his grandchildren?
Rav Yitzchok of Vorka explained that Menashe and Efraim were raised in the royal palace as princes, the sons of Yosef. Therefore, they were required to wear royal clothing, regal clothing such as those worn by Egyptian princes. Every time they would come to visit Yaakov Avinu, however, they would first don Jewish clothing. When Yosef heard about his father’s deteriorating health, he was told that he must come quickly, so he grabbed his children and ran. There was no time to change.
Thus, when Yaakov Avinu saw them dressed like Egyptian princes, he asked, “Who are these?” “They are my sons,” Yosef answered, “who Hashem gave to me here,” indicating that because they were born here [in Mitzrayim], they had no choice but to dress in clothing worn by non-Jews.
What did Yaakov answer? “Please bring them close to me and I will bentch them.”
What was he really saying? He was saying, “Give them to me. By me they will learn how a Yid must always dress.” Otherwise, the Yidden will never be released from “Mitzrayim.” The ultimate geulah will only come in the merit of not changing their dress from Jewish dress to that of the non-Jews.
The Importance of Dressing Like a Yid
The Bais Yisroel of Ger would often repeat the above thought from Rav Yitzchok of Vorka and add, “Yaakov told Yosef, ‘You were faced with such a tremendous nisayon because you were mesalsel, you curled your hair. Please, make sure that your children don’t follow that path, for it is a dangerous one. Rather, let them draw close to me. Let them conduct themselves not only in their penimiyus as Yidden, but also in their chitzoniyus. Let them always dress like Yidden. Why? Because the way one dresses provides shemirah, security, against falling into the ways of Mitzrayim, a land filled with tumah.”
Chitzoniyus is the Wrapping…for What?
The lesson he was conveying was that, yes, without penimiyus, all one has is a shell, an empty case, but penimiyus alone is also a great danger.
We recently celebrated the Yom Tov of Chanukah. We know that Yovon represented only the outer shell, the guf, the wrapper of the neshomah, and nothing else.
That is worthless. In fact, it is worse than worthless, because it ascribes some degree of quality to the guf even when there is no neshomah.
In today’s world, even though penimiyus is, of course, paramount, chitzoniyus does play some role. Just like Yaakov Avinu realized the pitfalls of totally ignoring chitzoniyus and the nisyonos that ignoring chitzoniyus brings, we must recognize that as well.
We should look like a Yid only because it will make us act more like a Yid. Remember what is the ikkar and what is the tafel. Remember that the nice, flashy wrapper on the item you are buying is only worth something if the item inside is actually something good.
