Tuesday, Jun 11, 2024

The New Cat in the Hat

Remember the story

Of Sally and I

And now I repeat it

But with a small cry


The sun did not shine
It was too wet to play
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day

I sat there with Sally
We sat there, we two.
And I said, “How I wish
We had something to do!”



The sun did not shine.
On that very sad day
When they told Dr. Seuss

“Would you please go away!”

I sat there so lonely
Was the news really true?
And I said, “How I wish
There was something to do!”

But we could not shout
Nor raise our voices
And listened with tears

To the president’s choices


We canceled you, Seuss!

That is just that!

Get out Marvin K!

And the Cat in the Hat


You don’t run the zoo

There’s no Mulberry Street

There’s no Fox and no Sox

To put on your feet

And all I could do was to
And I did not like it
Not one little bit

And then it went bump

It looked kind of strange

A liberal cat

Who sounded deranged

He came into our home

That liberal cat

And said, “Listen to me!

And that is just that!”

I’ll teach you new tricks

Show you how to think

Your old games and methods

They really do stink


I’ll throw out the old stuff

And bring in the new

No boys and no girls

Just Thing One and Thing Two


We have lots of lessons
We’ll teach them to you
“Your mother will not mind

At all if we do.”

And Sally and I
Did not know what to say
Our mother was out of the house
For the day

But the good fish said, “No! no!
Make that cat go away!
Tell that Cat in the Hat
You do NOT want to play.

“He should not be here
He should not be about
He should not be here
When your mother is out!”

But the press and the lefties

Said, “Please have no fear!
These tricks are not bad

It’s what you need to hear

“Why, we can have
Lots of good fun if you wish
With a game that I call
Let’s cancel the fish!”


“Put me down!” said the fish.
“This is no fun at all!
Put me down!” said the fish.
“I do NOT wish to fall!”

But the media laughed

“The fish has no brains”

The cat has it right

And the rest are insane!


“Have no fear!” said the cat.
I will not let you fall
I will hold you up high
As I stand on a ball.

“With a book in one hand!
And a cup on my hat!
But that is not all I can do!”
Said the liberal cat…

“I can topple statues

Change names of all sorts

Whether it’s products

Or teams from the sports!”


I can mistreat my aides

Kill the unborn

No one can stop me

I’ll greet them with scorn


I can close all the schools

I can say what to learn

I can make up a price

What workers should earn


He picked up my Bible

And threw it away

Saying, “C’mon boys and girls

It’s the new way to play!


“’Look at me!
Look at me now!” said the cat.
“With a cup and a cake
On the top of my hat!

“I can hold up TWO books!
I can hold up the fish!
And a little toy ship!
And some milk on a dish!

“And look!
I can hop up and down on the ball!
But that is not all!
Oh, no
That is not all…


“I can make senators kneel

I can smash all the shops

I can scare politicians

To defund the cops”


“And no fish can stop me

How about that!

I’m the Governor now

The Cat in the Hat!”

That is what the cat said…
Then he fell on his head!
He came down with a bump
From up there on the ball.
And Sally and I
We saw all the things fall!

Yes, that will hopefully happen

From the big charade

And all of the games

That those fat cats have played


One day years later

Our mom will come in

The rain will have stopped

On her face a big grin

And she’ll say to us two
“Did you have any fun?
Tell me: What did you do?

When it rained without sun?”

And Sally and I won’t know
What to say
Should we tell her
The things that went on there that day?

Should we tell her about it?
Now, what should we do?
What would you do
If your mother asked you?



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