We all heard and hopefully absorbed Parshas Shoftim last Shabbos. The very first posuk taught us the very personal words titein lecha, which are interpreted to mean that we should take judgment upon ourselves. The Medrash (Devorim Rabbah 5:5) teaches that “If there is judgment below, there is no judgment above; if there is no judgment below, there is judgment above.” This means that if we examine ourselves, if we hold ourselves responsible for our actions, Heaven has no reason to judge us further. We have already taken our actions seriously. However, if we are complacent, unconcerned and lackadaisical, then the Heavenly tribunal must step in and things could get much worse, G-d forbid.
Rav Dovid Povarsky, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Ponovezh, used to tell the story of a packed Yomim Noraim in the yeshiva bais medrash. He noticed that there was one seat between two bochurim. One of them sat in the seat almost the entire davening, not offering to share at all. The other was mevater – did not protest – and stood the entire davening. In fact, he tried to make the best of it by deciding that since he couldn’t sit anyway, he would have in mind that he was fulfilling the edict of the Shulchan Aruch that it is preferable to stand like the malachim throughout the tefillos.
Without mentioning any names, the rosh yeshiva later related to someone that he followed the lives of these two talmidim throughout the year. The one who had been mevater was successful at everything he did. The other had the exact opposite experience. Whatever he touched became an abject failure. One who shows no concern for his fellow on Rosh Hashanah cannot expect Heaven to help him during the year ahead. We should constantly evaluate what is wanted of us in Shomayim at any given time. If they want us to change, to be better and kinder, and we do so, they have no need to put us through judgment. However, if we ignore the tests and the signs, then the Bais Din Shel Maalah must take over. That can often lead to disaster and even tragedy r”l.
We have all watched or at least heard about the self-disintegration of the university system. Presidents have been forced to resign. Violence reigns and evil has virtually taken over. What has happened?
Undoubtedly, this malady has many sources. However, even the New York Times (Sunday Opinion Section, September 8, 2024, page 8) now recognizes that something has gone terribly wrong. In an article written by Rita Koganzon, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina, titled, “Colleges Need to Let Students Grow Up,” she attempts to analyze why this breakdown has occurred. She divides the academic history of the past few years into two eras, describing the period concluding with the 1960s as a time of lenience, allowing students to “commit flagrant violations of their universities’ policies” with virtually no consequences for bad behavior. She calls this the “Bystander Era,” where the university took no responsibility at all for student behavior, nor encouraged students to do so themselves. This resulted in the chaos and anarchy of the 1960s and ‘70s. She demonstrates that the reaction to this was that “by the 1990s, the Bystander Era had given way to the ‘Caretaker Era’ which continues today.” To the professor, the controls upon students have become too onerous and mirror “gentle parenting” of university students.
In other words, too few rules led to chaos, but too many rules don’t allow students to “grow up.” Of course, both were doomed to failure because neither learned the first posuk of Shoftim or the Medrash that insists that each one of us must self-judge ourselves. Rav Shlomo Wolbe, the great mashgiach, was once walking in a forest when he was very young. Suddenly, there was a terrifying storm, with thunder, lightning, and trees falling everywhere. Even as a youngster, he remembered the lesson of the Medrash. “Before we are judged by Heaven right now, we must judge ourselves,” he announced. “Let us resolve to learn better,” and when all were properly chastened and moved, they were able to leave the forest intact, but much the better for their self-judgment (Avnei Shlomo, Sefer Hazikaron, page 28).
How can we be different than the college students who have received such bad guidance over the past two generations?
The answer is to follow the way of our Torah guides in life, the tzaddikim and tzidkaniyos who are our role models. Rav Moshe Bauer relates a moving story about a sixteen-year-old girl who managed to change her attitude completely under horrendous circumstances by following mentors and her own personal strength and courage. This young lady had a twin who, r”l, contracted a malignant illness. Her father soon came down with the same disease, which only exacerbated the earlier death of her brother. The twin who was well but suffering emotionally and spiritually needed to express her anger and confusion in writing and so addressed a letter to the disease itself:
“I have so much bitterness against you for what you have done to my family. You have destroyed a human being in one day and are now ravaging my entire family. You have cut us into tiny pieces and we cannot cease talking about you day and night. I want to ask you: Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you so cruel? Why do you pick people to be your sacrifices? Do you know what you have put us through? Do you understand how we have had to wander from doctor to doctor and from hospital to hospital? How can you do such horrible things? Have you ever thought about the rivers of tears you have caused?” She then signed her name to the powerful missive and sent a copy to Rabbi Bauer.
During the following week, this amazing young lady attended some shiurim, consulted with her rebbetzin, and then sent a second letter, with a copy to Rabbi Bauer:
“To the disease: I am writing to apologize to you. I spoke to my rebbetzin and rov and I have changed my attitude completely. I would like to tell you that you tried to break us, but instead we have been elevated. You struck us, but we have only come closer to Hashem. I asked my sister who is suffering from this dreaded illness, ‘How can we deal with the fact that father, who is so very dear to me, is now also so ill with this malady?’ She answered simply, ‘What do you mean? This is another gift that we have received so that we can make another kiddush Hashem. This is a great zechus for us.’”
She closed the second letter with the words, “Now I know that everyone who accepts suffering in this way is an angel. I now also know that I have lived with a malach for several years, but now I am aware that I am also the daughter of an angel. I accept all this upon myself with love because I now understand that it all comes from our loving Father, who has His reasons for all that He does. In the merit of the fact that I have completely changed my approach to all this anguish and to offer my pain as a korban to Hashem, may He order the intermediary who brought this upon us to cease and desist, cure the sick and bring us Moshiach Tzidkeinu.”
Rabbi Bauer suggests that this wonderful young lady learned and derived the ability to make this change from Yitzchok Avinu. When Yitzchok asked his father, “Where is the lamb to be sacrificed?” he understood from Avrohom’s answer that it was to be him. Not only did Yitzchok not protest or demand an explanation, but he asked to be tied up. Hence the title of the event known for eternity as the Akeidah. When a person such as Yitzchok Avinu and this incredible teenager make a decision to accept the middas hadin, Hashem cancels the Heavenly judgment. Yitzchok not only represents the middah of din, but he accepted the din upon himself, becoming the only one of the avos who saves all of us from the middah of din (Shabbos 89b). That is the power of self-judgment. It can reach across the generations, across centuries and millennia, bringing about refuos, yeshuos and mechilah for Klal Yisroel.
May we carefully search our souls during this eis ratzon of Elul, so that the din will turn to rachamim at a time when we have been so surrounded with din from Above. Let us fargin each other, be mevater each other, ignore the hurt and create love instead. That will, in turn, bring us the kesivah vachasimah tovah we all seek and will daven for in the days and weeks ahead.
