I mentioned in these pages two weeks ago that during this time of year, we have a Pirkei Avos shiur Shabbos afternoon. Last Shabbos, when Klal Yisroel learned the Kinyan Torah section of Avos, we actually completed the last of the 48 methods of acquiring the Torah. It is kabbolas yissurin, how to properly accept suffering. Later, at seudah shlishis and after Maariv, several people shared with me their own stories, which dovetailed with the theme of our discussions. We learned from several gedolim and tzaddikim that we must not reject suffering, and the distress must be seen as a gift from Hashem.
I never know when a particular subject will hit home, but that of yissurin seems to resonate with many people. This fact even echoed our opening source, which was from the words of Chazal on this topic.
The Medrash (Medrash Rabbah, Mikeitz 92) states, “Rav Aleksandry said, ‘There is no one who completely escapes suffering. But fortunate is the person whose yissurim come upon him because of Torah.’ The Steipler (Chayei Olam, page 54, No. 10; see also Karyana De’igarta 2:27) explains this to mean that ‘the person is suffering because of the Torah and its mitzvos.’ The Alter of Kelm (Chochmah Umussar 1:245) also concludes that this must be so because otherwise kabbolas yissurin would have nothing to do with kabbolas haTorah. We shall soon see that there may be an alternative approach as well.
To return to our Shabbos shiur, one person related the following life’s lesson. His wife can only travel by wheelchair and he was having difficulty finding a cart at the airport that he could hook up to her chair to transport both successfully. Finally, finding a less than perfect specimen, he angrily piled on the luggage and placed his personal papers, wallet, credit cards, etc. in the bin at the bottom. Tired, calling an Uber, loading up, he forgot the file with his most important and valuable documents in the now-unloaded cart. When he arrived at home, he realized his mistake, asked the driver to wait, got his wife into the house, and hurried back to the airport. Although it was over an hour later, everything was waiting for him intact. Breathing a sigh of relief, he realized that the fact that he had found a less-than-perfect cart and returned it to an irregular space helped him get it back safely. His anger at the difficulty quickly dissipated when he understood that Hashem was with him throughout his ordeal.
This same man had suffered a robbery that was very intrusive and traumatic. After that, he and his family resolved to get an alarm system, which saved their lives two years later when it alerted them to a fire beginning in one of the rooms. There, too, he thanked Hashem not only for an obvious gift, but for what was once aggravation that became lifesaving.
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein once related the story of a man who was frustrated with what seemed to be incompetent staff at a hospital. He had taken his father there for what he thought was a broken arm and asked to see an orthopedist. After waiting interminably in the E.R., a young doctor with a clipboard approached, introducing himself as a dermatology intern. The son exploded, “What is the matter with you people? Can’t you get anything right?”
The flustered intern apologized and promised to send the appropriate specialist, but suddenly asked, “Do you mind if I take quick look at your father’s arm?” The son was still seething, answering cynically, “Why bother? It’s not your specialty anyway.”
“Yes,” the young man whispered, “but I don’t like the look of that mole on your father’s arm.”
As it turned out, the father’s arm was not broken, but he did have a life-threatening melanoma, which was successfully treated because of early detection.
Yes, this is a lesson about Hashgocha Protis, but it also reminds us that yissurin are never pleasant, but they can be life-saving.
I shared with our chevrah an alternative explanation for why kabbolas yissurin is one of the 48 methods of acquiring the Torah. The Torah is unlike any other subject in the world. A professor of mathematics or physics need not necessarily be a paragon of morality or ethics. But those who teach Torah must be. One cannot imagine learning Igros Moshe if we discovered, G-d forbid, that Rav Moshe Feinstein was not the tzaddik we all thought he was. Imagine if we visited Radin in 1927 and heard the Chofetz Chaim speaking lashon hara. “Impossible,” you cry out, but the reason it will never happen is because receiving Torah from someone means that we accept it even if we don’t understand it. The Torah teacher is also a conduit and the venue for transmitting the word of Hashem. The gavra – the human being teaching us that Torah – is simultaneously an emissary for Torah ethics as well.
The story is told that Rav Chaim Brisker once sent a telegram to Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzensky and paid for a one-word answer. When his family asked if this was proper, he answered simply that all he needed to know was the opinion of the author of the Achiezer about this matter. That was a yes or a no. He didn’t need or want to know why, because if he heard the entire answer, he might have to engage in analysis and discussion. That might even lead him to a disagreement, but sometimes all one needs is a p’sak. That is a reply of kabbolas haTorah, when we said “naaseh venishma.”
Rav Yechezkel of Shiniva (Divrei Yechezkel) derived this concept from a Gemara (Sanhedrin 110a): “One who tries to second-guess his rebbi is as if he doubted the Shechinah.” He explains that this is the connection between the trait of emunas chachomim, trusting our sages, the penultimate way to acquire the Torah, and the last one, which is kabbolas yissurin. Even when we don’t understand something a sage says or does, we must accept it, even though that might be painful.
It is the same with all kabbolas yissurin. Rav Chaim Shmulevitz famously taught (Sichos Mussar) that when the sages visited Rav Eliezer during his illness, each of the great Tannaim praised Rav Eliezer for how important he was to Klal Yisroel. Only Rav Akiva caused the patient to sit up and listen carefully when he said, “Yissurin are very important.” Rav Chaim explained that Rav Akiva didn’t change the subject. He, too, was praising Rav Eliezer by telling him that even in his suffering he was being a rebbi to his talmidim. He was teaching one of the most important lessons of all, knowing how to suffer. According to the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos, that is one of the most crucial things we can derive from our rebbi.
So how do we use proper kabbolas yissurin during Elul?
We return to Rav Chaim Shmulevitz. He cites the Gemara (Arachin 16a) which asks, “What is the minimum pain that can qualify as yissurin that bring kapparah?” One answer is the modern equivalent of reaching into one’s pocket for a quarter to pay a meter and fishing out a nickel instead. Rav Chaim asks the question: How can this even be called yissurin? We all know what true suffering is.
His answer is life-changing and life-saving as well. Hashem created man to be so grand that nothing should ever go wrong. We are all tzelem Elokim, created in the image of G-d. Therefore, when something even slight goes wrong, it is a heavenly sign that something is amiss with us and needs to be corrected. It is a sign that we need to make a change. It is part of Hashem’s chesed that He will send something as innocuous as discovering the wrong coin. If we are mekabel that in the spirit and for the purpose that Hashem sent it, then it can work wonders for us, especially during this season, when we seek and hope to receive expiation for our sins and do teshuvah without requiring significant suffering.
We may derive another Elul connection to kabbolas yissurin from the Chazon Ish, one who testified about himself that “from the time he was 18 years old, he was mortally ill with yissurin” (Pe’er Hador 3:68). This tzaddik and gaon, who suffered constant agony, wrote that “yissurin are beloved to those who realize that they are the direct agents of Hashem, strengthening the bond between ourselves and Hashem. They bring us into a world full of light, high above our physical beings. That is the essence of man, and happy is the lot of the one who accepts and appreciates this connection” (Igros Chazon Ish 1:201).
Rav Shlomo Wolbe pointed to a posuk that teaches us the essence of Elul. Dovid Hamelech writes, “The heavens will be glad and the earth will rejoice, the sea and its fullness will roar, the field and everything in it will exult, then all the trees of the forest will sing with joy” (Tehillim 96:11). If we didn’t read further, we might think that this will come when Moshiach arrives or at an amazing simcha where everyone is full of joy. But no, the next posuk reveals that this symphony of happiness will happen when “He will arrive to have judged the earth.” Judgment will bring such joy? Rav Wolbe answers yes, because the judgment will come from our Father in heaven, who loves us and never wants us harm. Even when He does cause us what we call yissurin, we know that they are all for our benefit and to be able to grant our prayers and innermost wishes. That is why Elul is the time to cherish whatever our sufferings are, hopefully not onerous, but always applied with Hashem’s love. Let us hope that the yissurin should be minor like the fellow at the parking meter, but the rewards for acceptance should be major with all of Hashem’s brachos for the new year.
