We’ll register for high school
We’ll register for sem
We will apply
(I don’t know why)
And not get into them
We’ll register for playgroups
Perhaps for a mesivta
We’ll call and plead
There is a need
To make the process swifter!
They’ll ask us crazy questions
They’re trying to revamp
And therefore so
They want to know
Why did you choose this camp?
Please fill out forms in triplicate
What brands are in your closet?
I’m sorry there’s a waiting list
We need a big deposit
They’ll scrutinize the handwriting
And then they’ll make the frowns
We cannot take this real great girl
She lives in the Five Towns!
I’m sorry we just don’t have room
This year we’re packed, you see
And anyway we just take girls
From Avenue M and P
He did real great on his farher
But we can’t take your son
I must be clear
You must live near
Oh Eight Seven Oh One!
Our playgroup is exclusive
The mother sits and hocks
Our kinderlach are geniuses
They never play with blocks!
And our mesivta‘s special
We have some rules, you know
We scrutinize, investigate
Last year where did you go?
Our seminary is superb
One thousand applications!
Tuition’s set at 20 grand
No further conversations
I look back at our history
Oh my! How times have changed
If it wouldn’t be
Happening to me
I’d say I was deranged
I wonder just
What would have been
If someone had turned down
A simple boy named Nathan Tzvi
Who went to Ida Crown
What could have been
With others
And names we all may know
We may forget
The sobriquet
Like Big Jake or Big Joe
I wish some had the vision
Of leaders we have lost
Whose only goal
Was “Teach Torah
No matter what the cost”
They’d find a spot for anyone
No forms of registration
And those let in
We know their kin
They’re leaders of our nation
