Friday, Jul 1, 2022

Registration Fustration!

This time of year A sense of fear Indeed it grips the nation And I don't care What hat you wear Or what's your occupation You see, my friend We all must send With fear and consternation A filled out form That's not the norm And it's called REGISTRATION!

We’ll register for high school

We’ll register for sem

We will apply

(I don’t know why)

And not get into them


We’ll register for playgroups

Perhaps for a mesivta

We’ll call and plead

There is a need

To make the process swifter!


They’ll ask us crazy questions

They’re trying to revamp

And therefore so

They want to know

Why did you choose this camp?


Please fill out forms in triplicate

What brands are in your closet?

I’m sorry there’s a waiting list

We need a big deposit


They’ll scrutinize the handwriting

And then they’ll make the frowns

We cannot take this real great girl

She lives in the Five Towns!


I’m sorry we just don’t have room

This year we’re packed, you see

And anyway we just take girls

From Avenue M and P


He did real great on his farher

But we can’t take your son

I must be clear

You must live near

Oh Eight Seven Oh One!


Our playgroup is exclusive

The mother sits and hocks

Our kinderlach are geniuses

They never play with blocks!


And our mesivta‘s special

We have some rules, you know

We scrutinize, investigate

Last year where did you go?


Our seminary is superb

One thousand applications!

Tuition’s set at 20 grand

No further conversations


I look back at our history

Oh my! How times have changed

If it wouldn’t be

Happening to me

I’d say I was deranged


I wonder just

What would have been

If someone had turned down

A simple boy named Nathan Tzvi

Who went to Ida Crown


What could have been

With others

And names we all may know

We may forget

The sobriquet

Like Big Jake or Big Joe


I wish some had the vision

Of leaders we have lost

Whose only goal

Was “Teach Torah

No matter what the cost”


They’d find a spot for anyone

No forms of registration

And those let in

We know their kin

They’re leaders of our nation



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