Oh! The Places We Know (and Don’t)

Vacation time, we take a ride
And leave the dreary city
I know it’s just a country ride
And we’ll come back…a pity!

Through the roads of New York State
We’ll cruise the countryside
Breathing in the mountain air
Enjoying our ride

But on the roads and streets
There’s more than just the view
There’s towns, hamlets and villages
And names I never knew

Some are really very strange
I’m not sure of their source
The names may be ridiculous
But they were on my course

I don’t know who did name them
And I don’t know really why
But as I passed the city signs
I thought that I would try

Like HORSEHEAD for some “Breeder’s Kup”
And FISHKILL for dead fish
And every boat in NEVERSINK
Prays it fulfills their wish

Of course Churchtown is goyish
And HARVARD’s not a school
In Monroe County there’s EGYPT!
But Pharaoh does not rule!

You want to go to FLORIDA
It’s off the 17!
It’s not too far from MONROE
A place you’ve surely seen!

There’s AMSTERDAM and CUBA
DENMARK and BOMBAY
And JORDAN, EGYPT, DAMASCUS!
Don’t be afraid to stay!

You do not have to fly there
They’re all in New York State
JACKSONVILLE is up here too!
Now isn’t that real great?

There’s names of people
IRA, JAY
And names that sound quite silly
Like KINDERHOOK and CHAZY
(And if you’re hot there’s CHILI!)

DOODLETOWN did once exist
But now it’s off the chart
HAPPY VALLEY’s gone as well
There’s no more happy heart

There are a lot of villes out there
But I’ll just name a few
CIRCLEVILLE, CONSTABLEVILLE, EARLVILLE, FACTORYVILLE,
FURNANCEVILLE, FLACKVILLE, DOWNSVILLE, CLOCKVILLE, COWVILLE
Is that enough for you?

The Adirondacks have a FOURTH LAKE
Where are the other three?
There are HERRINGS and there’s a BATH
And downstate there’s NORTH SEA

Yes, funny names from Indians
Yes, there’s COXACKIE
There’s CANANDAIGUA, IRONDEQUOIT
But I’m a CANARSIE!

I think I’ve driven far too long
And you folks stopped to follow
And if you’re tired from my poem
Just go to SLEEPY HOLLOW!