Wednesday, Nov 6, 2024

Mrs. Pearl Kaufman a”h

“Mrs. Kaufman, I envy your Olam Haba. I’m a rosh yeshiva and can be replaced, but you can never be replaced.”

These are the breathtaking words that R’ Zev Kaufman heard Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky declare to his mother, Mrs. Pearl Kaufman a”h, at the end of a Be’er Hagolah dinner in the early 1980s.

Those holy words of the gadol hador breathe depth and meaning into the avodas hakodesh in leading Yeshivas Be’er Hagoah, which Mrs. Kaufman took upon herself more than forty years ago. But it does more than that. It also depicts the special connection that Mrs. Kaufman had with gedolei Yisroel throughout her lifetime.

In 1979, the gedolei Yisroel joined forces to establish a school for the newly arriving Russian immigrants. Thousands of families were immigrating to the United States from Russia, families that the communist regime had forcefully torn away from Yiddishkeit. But now, in the United States, they were going to be given a chance to reconnect to Torah and mitzvos. The new school was named Be’er Hagolah, and its classes were scattered within a dozen or so yeshiva basements throughout Brooklyn.

The task was incredibly difficult. The new institution had no building. The children spoke no English, knew nothing about Yiddishkeit, and came from a foreign culture. Nothing like this had been tried before. After a few months that the school was operating, a young Pearl Kaufman, then working in the Agudas Yisroel office, was asked to look at the school and report back to her superiors at the Agudah.

Mrs. Kaufman had already had her share of successful askanus for the klal. She and her husband had been part of a small group of four families in Far Rockaway that brought Rav Yaakov Bender to the neighborhood to found Yeshiva Darchei Torah. She also worked every year to help children get into summer camps. But her talents had been thus far known to only a select few. That was, however, all going to change very quickly.

Little did she know that the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah would be listening in on her report about Be’er Hagolah as well. Upon hearing what she had to say, the gedolei Yisroel asked Mrs. Kaufman to join the staff of Be’er Hagolah as its principal.

Mrs. Kaufman moved on to Be’er Hagolah and became a soldier for the gedolei hador.

Very soon, Mrs. Kaufman went from being responsible for just the chinuch in the school to becoming its director, and she went on to carry Be’er Hagolah for more than forty years. A few years later, Rabbi and Rebbetzin Avner and Leya German joined Be’er Hagolah, and they and Mrs. Kaufman became the team that built Be’er Hagolah into the empire of kiruv and chinuch it is today.

Mrs. Kaufman had a thankless and in many ways lonely job. She had to raise millions of dollars for a school, the kind of which had never existed before. And she had to do it without a supportive parent body or natural community of supporters.

Mrs. Kaufman’s brother-in-law, Rav Simcha Kaufman of Yeshiva Torah Temimah, said that throughout all those difficult years, Mrs. Kaufman knew that her job was to work as much as she was able to, and the Ribono Shel Olam was the One who brings results. But, he said, she never let go, and when others said it could not be done, she said that yes, it could be done. She had a fire and determination that were unmatched, and the Ribono Shel Olam showered her with siyata diShmaya.

In his hesped at the levayah, Rav Lipa Geldwerth said that Mrs. Kaufman kindled neshamos in Be’er Hagolah, and she did it with a zeal for kiyum hamitzvos that is reminiscent of the zeal for mitzvos he witnessed in great tzaddikim.

Rav Yeruchem Olshin, in his hesped, said that Mrs. Kaufman was unique in that in addition to being a mother to a beautiful family of children and ainiklach who are bnei Torah, she was also an “eim b’Yisroel,” a mother of a broader group of Yidden. She was a “mother” to Yeshiva Darchei Torah and a mother to the Be’er Hagolah children and their families. Rav Olshin said in the name the Meshech Chochmah that the greatest madreigah of teaching Torah is to teach children of amei ha’aretz who would have otherwise been lost to Torah. In this sense, Mrs. Kaufman counts as one of the great marbitzei Torah of the generation.

The story of how Be’er Hagolah got its beautiful building in Starrett City, Brooklyn, is one that Mrs. Kaufman shared with me several times. Without a permanent location, the school desperately needed a building. One time, in the late 1980s, Be’er Hagolah celebrated a bar mitzvah event for boys in the school, and the well-known philanthropist Joseph Gruss was in attendance. After the bar mitzvah, Mr. Gruss asked Mrs. Pearl Kaufman, “What can I buy for the boys?” Mrs. Kaufman replied, “We need a building!” Mr. Gruss muttered in Yiddish, “Ich redd vegen ah knepel, un zi redd vegen dem gantzen kleid! I speak about a button and she’s demanding the entire dress!”

That was the end of the conversation and Mrs. Kaufman thought she had failed. Several days later, however, Mr. Gruss called the school and asked if they had a plot of land on which to build a building. If they had the land, he was willing to sponsor the building. The truth was that they did not have any land at the time. When Rav German walked into the office, Mrs. Kaufman told him about the problem. In the most natural manner, he responded, “No problem! I am building a shul in Starret City. Take the land for the school and just leave me a room for the shul!”

Mr. Gruss pledged to donate two million dollars, but soon realized that that would not be enough. He wanted the building to have a state-of-the-art gym and kitchen, and the land was the location of a former landfill requiring the highest level commercial engineering and land preparation.

Mr. Morton Berger, a CPA who was a founding board member of Be’er Hagolah, shared with me that Reb Avrohom Fruchthandler visited the Reichmann family in Toronto and secured their agreement to match Mr. Gruss’s donation. Mrs. Kaufman then raised additional major gifts and the project was ready to take root.

The Reichmann family lent Be’er Hagolah their engineering team, who oversaw the land prep and construction of the building. Be’er Hagolah now had a beautiful building, which shines to this very day.

Rabbi Mordechai German, the rosh hamosad of Be’er Hagolah, said in his hesped that Mrs. Kaufman was the briach hatichon of Be’er Hagolah. The school was driven and fueled by Mrs. Kaufman. She brought back thousands of children to Torah, children who almost always brought their siblings, parents, and in many cases grandparents along with them to Yiddishkeit. And their future doros followed. How can we possibly ever estimate the magnitude of her zechusim?

“She fueled a Torah machine and she carried it. There wasn’t a brick or light fixture in the Be’er Hagolah building that wasn’t hers,” said Rabbi German. “She had a mind-boggling achrayus. It’s true that she was brilliant and had a dazzling and creative skill set. But it was the passion, drive, and achrayus that set her apart. At one point, she even had a student of Be’er Hagolah living in her house. Her staff were raised to new heights due to her. You couldn’t disappoint her and you couldn’t be plain, simple or regular in her presence. Despite the impossible job that she had, without the support of tuition, a parent body, or the local community, she did it and raised everyone in her presence. Carrying the burden of Be’er Hagolah was her life and her essence. There were no time boundaries for her. Erev Yom Kippur and Motzoei Yom Kippur, she was working for Be’er Hagolah. On Chol Hamoed, she drove in to check mail. Her drive created the miracle mosad called Be’er Hagolah.

“We all know about limud haTorah and hachzokas haTorah. But from Mrs. Kaufman I learned about milchamtah shel Torah. She was a warrior who fought and fought against impossible odds, dealing with parents who don’t always value what she’s doing. She was ‘loichem’ (fought) for Torah, instilling values in her students and their parents while making sure that the bills were paid. After she retired six months ago, she continued working exactly as she did prior to retirement. She never stopped fighting for the children of Be’er Hagolah.”

Mrs. Kaufman’s longtime assistant in Be’er Hagolah, Mrs. Sori Mintz, told me that Mrs. Kaufman would sleep with a pen and paper next to her bed so that if she thought of something that needed to be done for Be’er Hagolah during the night, she would be able to immediately jot it down.

Her son, Reb Moshe Kaufman, said that if a book would ever be written about his mother, its title would be “A Woman, A Will, and a Way.” Through her determination, she had siyata diShmaya.

“She had the koach to state her opinion to the gedolei Torah, but was always machniah herself to their decisions. At meetings, Rav Avrohom Pam would shlep a small table to her so she wouldn’t feel that she was on her own, sitting far away and disconnected from the roshei yeshiva.

“She had an incredible kesher to Torah. On Purim, she would go to Yeshivas Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin and stay until three or four in the morning. She demanded of herself the highest standards and, as a result, raised the people around her.

“Be’er Hagolah alumni would call her and ask her to help them get their children accepted into mainstream yeshivos, and it was her badge of honor to know that Be’er Hagolah alumni would be sending their children to typical yeshivos full of bnei Torah.”

Renowned singer Avraham Fried remembers how dedicated and sincere Mrs. Kaufman was. He relates that when she called him to sing at a concert at Be’er Hagolah, she won him over with her dedication and passion for the children. He was moved by her sincerity, kindness and love for the children. “She was a loving Yiddishe mammeh. Let’s hope she’s a gutteh beter for us to get us out of this golah.”

Mrs. Kaufman’s son, Reb Yossi, said, “Her passion, drive, and determination were impossible to describe in words. She used to tell a story about when she was a three-year-old child leaving Europe with her family. They came to a border crossing and the soldiers weren’t letting them through. But she was crying so hysterically and would not let up that the soldiers couldn’t stand the wailing. They couldn’t stand the crying, so they told her parents to just move on through.”

I first got to know Mrs. Kaufman eight years ago. In addition to the middos mentioned earlier, there is another thing that always struck me. Her Torahdike hashkafos were steadfast, with no room for compromise. It is not uncommon to see people looking for a way to bend the rules just a little bit in order to accomplish what they see as an important goal. With Mrs. Kaufman, there was nothing of that sort even as a distant thought. It never came up. Torah and mitzvos were real, and they were the only way.

Rabbi Uri Orlian, the rov of Shaarei Tefilah in Lawrence and a neighbor of Mrs. Kaufman, said in his hesped that during her final illness, Mrs. Kaufman was taken to South Nassau Hospital. Her family knew that she wanted to be in Mount Sinai Hospital and tried their utmost to have her transferred there, but it was not meant to be. It turned out that Mrs. Kaufman’s nurse and PA in South Nassau were Be’er Hagolah graduates. Rabbi Orlian suggested that Hakadosh Boruch Hu wanted her to be treated by those who she brought back to Him, as it says, “Shlach lachmecha al pnei hamayim ki b’rov hayamim timtza’enu.”

And now Mrs. Kaufman goes up leginzei meromim and takes along all the neshamos who today have frum families due to her mesirus nefesh. She leaves behind children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, a beautiful family of bnei Torah, lesheim uletiferes.

Tehei nafsha tzerurah betzror hachaim.

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