I left my classroom a bit early to attend the levayah of Rav Shlomo Halioua zt”l, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin. I didn’t think the rosh yeshiva would want to impede Torah learning, but I also wanted to give him the kavod he deserved so much. As a kohein, I stood outside, and having come late, there were no chairs available. A young bochur quickly offered me his seat, which I accepted gladly but sadly. My first thought was that the niftar would be proud, for the bochur had fulfilled the rosh yeshiva’s essence, the middah of kavod habriyos. I don’t mean, chas veshalom, to take away anything from his gaonus, hasmadah and harbotzas Torah. But there was something about his bein adam lachaveiro that calls out to us to notice how special he was. Some of those who wrote movingly about the unforgettable scene of the two aronos side by side commented upon the significance, the devoted mother, a tzadeikes and rebbetzin in her own right, shepping her last nachas as her son received the kavod melachim he deserved. However, I must confess that libi omer li – my heart told me – that Rav Shlomo was paying his mother the kavod acharon of one who never missed an opportunity to offer derech eretz, especially kibbud eim, when the opportunity arose.
Instead of a proper hesped, which, for numerous reasons, I feel incapable of rendering, I offer a context for the rosh yeshiva’s extraordinary dedication to giving honor to virtually everyone he met. One outgrowth of that kavod habriyos was the fact that few of us knew during his final year on earth how sick he was. On the one hand, it would have been an opportunity for his many talmidim and admirers to storm the heavens for a refuah sheleimah. But for Rav Shlomo, the idea of causing anguish to an entire tzibbur, especially toward the end, when the Torah ordains simcha, was not even a viable hava amina. Let us then spend a moment learning from his personal Shulchan Aruch of how to treat others. Virtually all of the sources below reflect the rosh yeshiva’s stellar middah of kavod habriyos.
Chazal (Brachos 28a) teach that when Rav Eliezer became ill, his talmidim arrived to be mevaker choleh. When they asked him to guide them on the path leading to Olam Haba, he answered, “Be careful to give honor to your friends.” Rabbeinu Yonah (to Pirkei Avos 4:1) adds that “whenever someone gives honor to others, he is actually gaining honor for himself, as the Mishnah states, ‘Who is honored? He who honors others.’” Furthermore, the Menoras Hamaor (No. 58) concludes that “one who is careful not to cause anguish to others will be helped by heaven that his wishes will be fulfilled, he will have honorable children and his family will be wholesome.” This is what the baalei mussar (see Chochmah Umussar 2:68) call “placing others above you sweetly with royalty and derech eretz.”
Since we just lained Parshas Noach last week, it is appropriate to mention that Noach learned this middah from a bird. When Noach went to feed all the creatures that were clamoring for their food, he noticed that one of the birds called a “chol” didn’t participate in their demands. “Don’t you need any sustenance?” Noach inquired. The bird answered quietly, “I saw how busy you are, so I decided not to trouble you further.” Noach was very impressed with this answer and blessed the chol with the brocha that it would live on eternally (Sanhedrin 108b with Rashi). We certainly understand that for people who don’t want to trouble others, this means life in eternity, but not necessarily long life in this world.
Looking a bit ahead in the parsha, there is a lesson that I believe defines, to the extent that I can understand, the rosh yeshiva’s essence. Yaakov Avinu is obtaining the brachos from his father, Yitzchok, when they are in danger of being misappropriated by Eisav. The results of failing in this endeavor have cosmic potentially tragic results for the future of Klal Yisroel and the world. And so, with his mother Rivka’s help, he dresses up, at least in part, as Eisav to fool his father. However, he doesn’t speak like Eisav at all, which Yitzchok Avinu immediately notices. Why didn’t Yaakov also change his vocabulary to speak in coarse language like his brother in order to complete the process of his impersonation?
The baalei mussar teach that Yaakov Avinu was simply incapable of doing this. He could make believe that he had hairy arms, but he couldn’t speak coarsely to anyone, let alone his saintly father (Mimayenos Hanetzach, Parshas Toldos). I believe that Rav Halioua was incapable of hurting an entire tzibbur, whom he loved like a father, for his own benefit, perhaps even to save his life. Yosef Hatzaddik, also, refrained from visiting his father for 17 years for fear that he would ask him about how he got to Mitzrayim. He would be forced to tell the truth, which would put his brothers in a bad light, so he didn’t visit until close to Yaakov’s death (Peirush HaTur, end of Parshas Vayechi).
The Torah tells us that the pit into which Yosef was thrown “was empty, without water” (Bereishis 37:24). The Gemara (Shabbos 22a) comments, “It had no water, but it did have snakes and scorpions.” Rav Zalman Sorotzkin (Oznayim LaTorah, Parshas Vayeishev) notes that the pit had something positive about it and something negative. On the one hand, there was water in which Yosef could have drowned, but on the other, it had snakes and scorpions, which could have killed him. The Torah states the positive part specifically, but the negative is derived from a hint in the posuk. This teaches us, he concludes, that although the pit is an inanimate object, with no human feelings, the Torah avoids saying something directly pejorative about it. All the more so, we should be careful not to denigrate a human being, who was created in the image of Hashem.
Rashi (Shemos 20:23) adds to the method of learning from inanimate objects. The Torah forbids steps on the altar so that the kohein’s flesh should not be exposed. If we must be careful about the mizbei’ach’s “feelings,” all the more so must we be sensitive to those of a human being (see Sanhedrin 58b and Lev Eliyahu, Parshas Shemos). The Gemara (Chulin 60b; Rosh Hashanah 23b) and Medrash (Bereishis Rabbah 6:4) similarly comment on the structure of the universe itself, where Hashem makes sure that the sun will never be able to make the moon feel inferior. Sensitive people incorporate these sentiments into their lives whenever there is a possibility of hurting someone’s feelings.
In later generations, Tannaim such as Shmuel Hakoton took ignominy upon themselves rather than have others who were actually guilty feel humiliated (Sanhedrin 11a). Rav Yochanan Ben Masiah taught his son to provide fancy foods for his worker’s lunch for “they deserve royal foods just because they are the children of Avrohom, Yitzchok and Yaakov” (Bava Metziah 86b). In more recent times, the Maharsham (Teshuvos 2:210) instructed his children to wake him, if necessary, to answer someone’s question and never to keep anyone waiting in order to avoid disappointing anyone who requires his advice.
Similarly, Rav Yeruchem Levovitz, mashgiach of the Mir in Europe, insisted that his door never be locked, because “it is utter cruelty” to keep people waiting.
Finally, along these lines, Rav Pinchos ben Yair could split a river like Moshe Rabbeinu split the Yam Suf (Yerushalmi, Demai 1:3). When his students asked if they would be permitted to walk through this miraculously dry body of water, he replied that they certainly could if they had never hurt anyone’s feelings. The baalei mussar derive the rule that one who is scrupulous about the feelings of others has the power of altering nature itself (Hatzlochas Hanefesh 19:1).
The rosh yeshiva certainly did not wish anyone to know that he had reached many of these pinnacles of human interaction. However, now that he is sadly gone, we can and should reflect upon the fact that we had such a person in our midst and should continue to learn from his noble example. It is well known that Chazal (Yoma 86a) taught that one – especially a talmid chochom – who speaks kindly to people and has other similar traits, causes a kiddush Hashem wherever he goes. That was the rosh yeshiva. Not only is this not a contradiction to greatness in Torah, but this trait goes hand in hand with the ability to inspire talmidim (Toldos Adam, Chapter 11).
We were fortunate and privileged to be in the same world as him, albeit for too short a time. Let us give the rosh yeshiva nachas up in Shomayim that we still walk in his ways. He sacrificed so much for us. Let us help his pure neshomah have the aliyah of our own improvements and teshuvah.
