SPOTLIGHT ON THE POSSIBLE
You’re in the market for a house. Alone or with a companion, you trudge from place to place, searching for something that will satisfy your domestic dreams while not breaking the budget. It can be a weary journey.
At last, you come across a house in the right neighborhood and at the right price. Even more exciting, the place is appealing to the eye. Its exterior is handsome and the inside works for you. How exciting!
You make a bid. It’s accepted. The next step is to have the place inspected. And that’s when your excitement starts to crumble at the edges. It turns out that the house has a balky heating system, faulty wiring, and a superannuated roof. In short, the portions of the house not immediately visible to the eye harbor some undesirable weaknesses. What a disappointment!
Let’s turn to another scenario. Suppose your quest is not for the right place to live, but for a suitable place to work. Resume’ in hand, you make the rounds of all the work sites that may be suitable for your skill set. Time after time you strike out, until the happy day when you stumble across a job that seems just right. The demands of the position resonate with your experience and abilities; the workplace is pleasant, and the salary is something you can live with.
Happily, you sign on the dotted line… only to find, as time goes on, that the smooth surface of your dream job has some cracks. A quirky and difficult boss, perhaps. A hard-to-work-with colleague. Or a workload that turns out to be much more demanding than you anticipated. Dismay and resentment quickly displace the satisfaction you felt on your first day on the job.
Most traumatic of all is when someone you have come to care for turns out not to be everything you originally believed them to be. It’s not uncommon to enter into a relationship with starry eyes, only to have some of the starlight dimmed when you discover the flaws and frailties that lie beneath the surface.
Everyone throughout history has been plagued by laws and frailties; that’s the human condition. Everyone who is alive today, ditto. Somehow, though, this realization isn’t all that helpful when the individual in question is someone close to you. Especially if the newfound weaknesses are ones you didn’t expect. Our reaction to such a disappointment is usually to focus a bit too much on the faults we’ve uncovered, and a bit too little on the good qualities that drew us to that person in the first place.
There’s no question that it’s disconcerting and painful when the failings of houses, jobs, and especially of the people in our lives come to light. Each time we pin our hopes on something and then discover that reality doesn’t completely match our rosy expectations, there’s a sense of letdown. We feel hurt. Betrayed.
But there’s another side to all this. A consideration that may make a world of difference.
Fixer-Upper
That nice-on-the-outside, problematic-on-the-inside house that we wanted to buy has one thing going for it: potential.
Numerous young couples with limited financial resources have opted to purchase what is commonly referred to as a “fixer-upper.” It may be in barely livable condition when they move in. It may not be really comfortable for a long time after. But that’s fine. Our eager young couple is willing to put in the time and effort required to turn their hovel into the palace of their dreams.
Transplanting this idea into the workplace isn’t too much of a stretch. In any situation, however problematic, there is usually the potential for growth. By learning to work peaceably with difficult supervisors or colleagues, by responding wisely and equably to unlooked-for obstacles, we can serve as role models and bring a more positive atmosphere into the office. Until the whole place is transformed!
At the office, at home, and everywhere else, each troublesome situation holds within it the seeds of personal growth. As we’ve noted before in this column, life is like a classroom, and every hardship a lesson designed to foster in us the greatest possible spiritual growth. As we suffer under less-than ideal conditions at home or on the job, we are constantly learning and adapting. Getting along with difficult people, including bosses, spouses and in-laws, affords our hearts a chance to expand and our middos to shine. Even if we ultimately find it necessary to break away at some point, we’ll carry that hard-earned growth with us when we go.
Lots of situations in life are fixer-uppers. Lots of people are, too. We are placed in this world in an imperfect state for a reason: to give us the opportunity to envision improvements and then implement them. Whether the positive change affects the world around us, our trickiest relationships, or our private inner selves, we’re meant to put in the necessary work to correct imbalances and fix what is broken.
Divine Vision
When the Jewish People left Mitzrayim, we had significant challenged to overcome, with a recent history of persecution and oppression and little more than our experience as slave laborers to bring to the table. Those who observed us as we straggled forth through the desert might have been excused for being skeptical about our chances of success. Based on what they saw, the prognosis must have appeared pretty hopeless.
But Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s vision is different. He sees not only what is, but also what is possible. Even in our lowest moments, He is able to peer into our souls and discern the seeds of greatness which nestle there. In the dark soil of those fertile souls at yetzias Mitzrayim, nurtured by Divine teachings and open miracles, the seeds sprouted and flourished.
Nobody watching us as we picked up our staves and our bundles to exit the mightiest country in the known world could have guessed that such a motley and downtrodden crew would one day produce a Dovid Hamelech, a Rashi, a Rambam. Nobody without a prophetic long view was able to see the potential hidden within the unflattering exterior. Nobody but Hashem believed that we could do it. But He saw, and He believed.
At the Pesach Seder, we have a chance to repay His faith in us by recalling His miracles and wonders, His might and His compassion. His powerful hand and merciful heart have accompanied us down the millennia to this day.
Or rather, to this night. The night when we sit down at the beautifully set table, gaze at the symbolic Seder plate and the rich, dark wine in our goblets, and remember how Hashem was willing to acquire us and to cherish us even in our lowly and imperfect state.
And how, ever since, He has never once stopped believing in us and raising us ever higher!
