The word “party” grates on my nerves. When you add the prefix “Chanukah,” such as in “Chanukah party,” it feels like someone scratching a chalkboard. I am not sure if readers of the “whiteboard” or “smartboard” generation can even identify with the absolutely nerve-grating sensation elicited by scratching fingernails on a chalkboard—I am sort of shivering even as I write this—but that is the feeling I have whenever someone says the words, “Chanukah party.”
The word “party” connotes something devoid of kedusha, something indicative of the pursuit of a good time with some prikas ol added for good measure.
A Chanukah mesibah, where people come together to express hallel and hoda’ah, is not a party. It is a holy gathering, a gathering that is enjoyable and full of good feelings, rooted in the concept of hallel v’hoda’ah, thanking Hashem for the neis of Chanukah, but certainly not limited to thanks only for that. It is and should be an opportunity for families to thank Hashem for all the good they have experienced in their lives, and certainly this year.
So, first and foremost, I know that all of you have been inundated with notices that there are tens, if not hundreds, of wonderful businesses that will save you the bother of actually cooking for your “Chanukah party” and will prepare you 9×13 pans of almost anything you could ask for—fleishigs, milchigs, pareve—and they will even throw in sufganiyos for good measure.
That being said, let’s stop with this “party” talk and instead call it a mesibah or a seudah, words that connote something very different than a “party,” and simultaneously, let us not just call it a mesibah or seudah, but transform it into an appropriate mesibah/seudah.
Time to Stop and Think
I mentioned that a Chanukah mesibah is a time for hallel and hoda’ah. Some of us, however, are so filled with various worries and difficulties that it is hard to stop, think and thank.
Yes, we all have daagos. Plenty of them. Still, that should not stop us from taking a moment to simply take the time to think about the good that we have experienced this year and realize that it wasn’t just happenstance. It was because Hashem made it so.
The difficulty with actually doing this lies in the fact that we are so busy with all the accoutrements of Chanukah that we don’t have time to focus on Chanukah itself.
Chanukah is such a busy Yom Tov. It is a Yom Tov when, in addition to the family getting together to light the menorah with singing and dancing, every family member has some sort of Chanukah get-together. There is so much going on that it seems that the ikkar mitzvos, the primary mitzvos of Chanukah, become almost the tafel, and the minhagim and all the other self-imposed obligations seem to sometimes take priority. Yes, of course, we light the menorah every night. No one will forget that, but because things are so busy, we can get sidetracked and forget why we are having get-togethers, be it with family, shul, school, or place of employment.
The truth is that there is no mitzvah to have a seudah on Chanukah, but the poskim teach us that when we sing shiros and sishbachos to Hashem at a mesibas Chanukah, we are transforming something that one might otherwise just call “supper” or “lunch” into a heilige seudas mitzvah.
Thanking for the neis of Chanukah Only?
Let’s think for a second. Why is it that on Chanukah, when we sing shiros and sishbachos to Hashem, the seemingly mundane act of washing for hamotzi and eating latkes, sufganiyos, or anything else suddenly becomes endowed with kedusha, a holiness that penetrates our neshamos?
The answer is that one of the main mitzvos of Chanukah is hallel v’hoda’ah, praising Hashem and thanking Hashem.
Some of us might mistakenly think that it is difficult to really jump up and down with hoda’ah, with profound thanks to Hashem for the neis of Chanukah. After all, it happened so long ago.
Yes, it is amazing that after the Yidden took the Bais Hamikdosh back from the Yevonim through a miraculous military victory, and when they finally entered the Bais Hamikdosh, they managed to find one flask of pure oil. It is even more amazing that this one flask, which was supposed to burn for only one day, burned for eight days. Still, it is sometimes difficult for us to really fill ourselves with hoda’ah for that long-ago neis.
But that is where we have to stop, think, and wonder if perhaps the mitzvah of hallel v’hoda’ah on Chanukah is not limited to thanking Hashem for the neis of Chanukah.
Chanukah: A Special Time to Think…And Thank
I recently saw in a sefer that on Chanukah, we thank Hashem for a lot more than the neis of Chanukah. He points out that every night of Chanukah, when we light the neiros, we sing the piyut of Maoz Tzur. Now, we all know that in Maoz Tzur, there is only one part that talks about the neis of Chanukah, and that is the stanza that begins with the words “Yevonim nikbetzu alai.”
Have you ever wondered why on Chanukah we sing about the fact that Hashem took us out of golus Mitzrayim, golus Bavel, and the golus of Achashveirosh and Haman? Not only that, but we even sing about the final geulah, when Hashem will finally “bare Your holy arm and quickly bring the ultimate salvation.” In that stanza, we praise and thank Hashem for that geulah – even though it has not yet happened.
The sefer explains that Chanukah is unique because it is the last geulah from a golus that we Jews have collectively experienced. Since it is the last geulah that we have experienced thus far, it is fitting that we should reflect on the chesed of not only the specific geulah of Chanukah, but also of all the other geulos as well.
In fact, the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 218:5) paskens that when we come to a place where we previously experienced a neis, not only must we praise Hashem for the neis that happened to us there, but we must also praise Hashem for any nissim that happened to us in other places too.
What is the lesson?
The lesson is that Chanukah is a special time. It is a time for hoda’ah, a time to praise Hashem, starting with the neis of Chanukah…but not ending there.
From Big nissim to Small, Thank Hashem for Them All
Every single person, every single Yid, has experienced so many nissim and so many good things in their lives. The problem is that we often forget these nissim and brachos, or we become used to them.
Chanukah is a time when each and every one of us should stop and think, take a few minutes, perhaps even with pen and paper, and start writing down the many wonderful things that Hashem does for us. Even things that are seemingly simple.
We can thank Hashem for one or all of the following, if applicable: our parents, our spouses, our children, our good friends, our rabbeim, our mentors, our co-workers, and the list goes on.
We can thank Hashem for helping us find a good chevrah, a good group of friends with whom we can grow.
We can thank Hashem for arriving home safely, even if we only drove for five minutes.
We can even thank Hashem for something as seemingly silly as having all the ingredients in the house for the supper that we are about to start making.
There are so many times in our lives when we experience nissim, big and small, major and seemingly minor, that we never even bother to properly think about.
Chanukah is the time to think about them. When we think, we can thank!
This Chanukah, as we look at those heilige neiros flickering, let us think about all the things for which we have to be thankful. Let us fill our hearts and our neshamos with those deep feelings of thanks, of feeling taken care of, because Chanukah is the most wonderful time to think and think…
…and then thank and thank!
