You know, grandfathers are allowed to be biased about their grandsons, and I have a grandson who, in my opinion, is extremely cute. In my eyes, he can almost do no wrong, and even when grandchildren might possibly do wrong, Rav Matisyohu Salomon once said that grandparents have a right to spoil their grandkids and leave the disciplining to the parents.
Either way, getting back to this grandson, he’s a great kid, but he seems to be fascinated with water. He just loves water, especially seeing it spilled on the floor. He enjoys it so much that he might, at any time, go to the sink, take the cup used for washing hamotzi, fill it up, and then merrily pour its contents on the floor…once, twice, and then again and again.
All of a sudden, his mother and father emerge from another room and find themselves facing a flood on the floor.
After the first incident was followed by another and another, his parents realized that this was not just a passing fad, but an issue that needed to be addressed. And address it they did.
This very cute little grandson soon realized that if he was going to spill water, he would have to clean it up all by himself. Yes, towels and sponja. It wasn’t negotiable. He could cry his four-year-old eyes out, but no one was going to give in. You spill water? You need to clean it up before you can do anything else.
One day, just a couple of weeks ago, this precocious child’s mother was in another room and he began dumping cup after cup of water all over the kitchen floor. When his mother came out, she was horrified to see the mabul. In no uncertain terms, she gave him the ultimatum that he needed to start cleaning up. He began cleaning, a pout on his face.
After trying for a while, he became very frustrated. After all, there was so much water still to clean up. He began to cry and became angry. His mother saw what was happening and told him firmly that he had to clean up every last bit of water. However, because he was crying and so discombobulated, she told him that he could take a few minutes in his room to calm down. After that, he would have to come out and finish the job.
During his time-out, his mother takeh looked at the floor and saw how much he still had to do. Being a Yiddishe mammeh, she had rachmanus on her little boy. While he was in his room, she quickly cleaned up some of the water, realizing that he wouldn’t notice she had helped. When he returned a short time later, she put him back to work, but by then, it was much more doable.
A Cute Incident…with a Mussar Haskel
It was this cute little incident that came to mind now, as we head back into the daily grind of the winter. You see, the period after Yom Tov is sometimes anticlimactic. We were living in the ruchniyusdige bubble of Rosh Hashanah, when we accepted Hashem as King over us. Then came the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah and Yom Kippur, when we cleansed ourselves from aveiros, followed by Sukkos, when we spent the most joyous, exalted week in Hashem’s shadow, culminating with the climax of Simchas Torah, when we united with the Torah b’ahavah. And then, suddenly, it’s back to the mundane, back to the grind.
We also discover something else: The yeitzer hara is still lurking. Sure, we tried to do teshuvah, and we believe that Hashem accepted it. But still, as Chazal teach us, the yeitzer hara is like a fly. No matter how many times you shoo it away, it comes right back.
Many of us may feel that we have fallen, that we have not remained at the same high level of ruchniyus we felt during the Yomim Tovim. This can sometimes make us feel down. A person might mistakenly think, “What did I gain from all my avodah during Elul and Tishrei if I can’t sustain it?” One might even say, “Well, this must mean that whatever connection to Hashem I achieved during the Yomim Tovim wasn’t real.”
Chas v’shalom!
Of Ups, Downs, and Fix-Ups
An adam gadol once told me that these thoughts are not true at all. It is even possible that this is exactly what Hashem wants—times of ups and times of downs. Hashem created a person with a nature of fluctuation. One cannot always be on a high. That doesn’t mean that Hashem does not value the good thoughts and achievements we reached during the Yomim Tovim.
Not only that, but Hashem helps us. I thought about the story with my grandson and realized that my cute little grandson is us. Hashem sometimes tells us, “You made a mess. Now you have to fix it. You have to do teshuvah and repair the damage you’ve done.”
At the same time, when Hashem sees how difficult it is for us, how limited we are, and how dependent on Him we really are, He furtively lends us a hand. He helps us achieve kapparah. He helps us do teshuvah. And He helps us get up even after we’ve fallen again and spilled “water” all over the floor, despite the many warnings we’ve received.
Hashem is like the mother who has rachmanus on her child even when he does something wrong and foolish. When the child can’t see, she helps him clean up the mess.
The same applies when we fall after Yom Tov. Yes, perhaps we thought that from now on we will soar in shomayim without repeating the same foolish mistakes we made last year, but that doesn’t always happen. Hashem, however, knows us. He is our Father. He made us, and He is still standing in the shadows, ready, with love, wanting to help us clean up after ourselves.
Hashem makes us undergo ups and downs. The main thing to realize is that those elevated days and feelings are really who we are. Everything we gained during the Yomim Noraim remains with us. Hashem takes every tefillah, every kabbolah, and every good thing we’ve done and cherishes it. Yes, sometimes we may temporarily fall, but He is always there to help us clean up, just like my grandson’s mother.
